I'm cranky, tired and sore. Yep, that has been going through my head all day. I even got out of my car at a patient's house today and made my way up the stairs 'granny' style with full sound. I felt like I was 90 years old. The soreness was from a ridiculous amount of lunges at bootcamp on Monday night. The crazy part was that when it came time to get ready for tonight's bootcamp, I was dressed and in the car without even thinking about it. That was the second time this week that I realized that I've made a major life change. I mean, before I wouldn't have gone to bootcamp to begin with, but to go when there was some tenderness and soreness? I knew that it would be fine once I got moving. The other instance was yesterday when I left work early to get a three mile run in before going to dinner with friends (it was such a great dinner! The National had a Hanukkah feast!). It feels good to have made a change and to be sticking with it.
Another aspect where I can see a huge change is my eating habits. Almost everything in our fridge is organic, we rarely eat meat or fish and dairy products are scarce. I've been getting some flack from some folks i.e. "you eat too healthy!" and well, I take that as a compliment. I think that we need to think about the things that we put into our bodies.
I've been thinking a lot lately about "why the change?" and "why now?" and two answers came to me. The first was the dreaded day when I went to put on my favorite pants and the button wouldn't do up and I told myself "ah...it's just my child bearing hips". Seriously, that's what I told myself. The second was realizing that we are not invincible. The biggest blow to me was when my dad was diagnosed with cancer for the first time. It hit me that even the strongest man that I know was powerless to it. I knew then that I needed to make healthier choices for myself. A man that rarely drinks and has never smoked is diagnosed with cancer and it just doesn't make sense. Not that it is supposed to make sense, but when it happens to the ones you love, you want to make sense of it. You want to know why they have to suffer and if there will be a light at the end of the tunnel. I know that I cannot run from cancer or any other disease for that matter, but I can do my best to give my body the tools it needs to have a chance.
I haven't spoken a lot about what's going on in my life lately, because...well...it's painful and I'm not a person to seek sympathy from others. My family is strong and believe in looking at the positives. I'm glad that my dad is here and can tell me how proud of me he is and how great the changes that I've made are. Every time that I have run a longer distance, he is the first person I call to tell. He is my inspiration, each and every day. I love you, Dad; this one is for you.
