Homemade jam!

Best friends :)

Puppy love :)

Probably one of the only males that I would bust out the sewing kit for!

Puppa's favorite toy is just like brand new!

Finding that missing something...

I just got home from work and I'm in kind of a surreal mood. Everything is fine. Don't get me wrong. I've just had a couple of pretty crazy weeks at work and I feel like I'm finally coming down. I'm sitting on the porch swing outside and just trying to take in all that is around me. The rose bushes out front are full of beautiful pink roses and they almost seem like a miracle. We never water them and they look perfect.

I want to get more involved in something. I just don't know what yet. It's hard in the kind of work that I do find time to volunteer, but I want to find something that will be meaningful. Not that my work isn't meaningful. It definitely is. I just need something other than work to delve into to. It seems like everyone I know has hobbies and is involved in something. Maybe spending some time volunteering at a shelter or something like that. I also have been trying to work on activities that assist in allowing me some time for myself. I've been going to Monday night yoga with my fabulous neighbor for some time now and that seems to help, but I've had a hard time focusing on time at the gym. Since we got the puppy it's been hard trying to justify time at the gym. When I'm gone all day I want to spend some time with him. I know I will work it all out. It will just take some time. I can't even imagine what it would be like to add kids into the mix. Gahh. I don't know how people do it.

Well, I just heard my hubby and puppy pull up and I need to get my puppy fix!

Hope y'all are having a great night!

Finding the time...

I uploaded blogger to my phone so that I can blog when I have a spare moment. I love blogging, but sometimes it is hard to find the time. This should help. I'm just about to go to bed and I'm all snug in bed and looking at the reflection from my favorite lamp that I got for my bat mitzvah. <3 night y'all!

This makes me smile

I saw this during my journeys this week. It's adorable!

The Kipps...

Hello, hello! I hope that y’all are well! Today is Yom Kippur and I’m lying in bed and reflecting. I’m trying to figure out my Judaism. I’ve been so busy with life that I haven’t been keeping track of it. I know you are thinking “is this girl crazy? She doesn’t know where her Judaism went?”. Well, a lot has changed in the past year and it’s the first time I’ve looked deeply at myself and my religion. When I lived at home it was easy. My mom scheduled family dinners and we all celebrated together. When you live far from family and your husband works at a Jewish organization it becomes harder to figure out where you fit in. I’ve really tried to distance myself from my husband’s work…well…because….it’s his work. The only time it really becomes an issue is when Jewish holidays are involved. If I do not go with him, then I don’t see him. I guess I knew that when I signed on to marry a Jewish professional, but at that point I still lived near my family and was getting the total experience. I try to go with the hubs sometimes, but I always try and stay in the background because he’s so busy and sometimes my introverted ways get the best of me. I went to services last night at the Reform temple and it just didn’t fit. I kept looking at the back door waiting for the hubs to walk in and for us to experience it together. Needless to say, that didn’t happen. It just doesn’t feel like the holidays right now. I miss home. Sometimes growing pains are a little too intense. I definitely need to find my own way to get involved here, but I don’t know how just yet.

I hope that everyone is having a meaningful Yom Kippur and really searching deep. I’m trying. It will just take some time.

Home Sweet Home...

I wrote this on the way back from my last trip home at the end of July. Enjoy.

I am sitting on a plane on my way to Georgia and I thought it would be a perfect time for a blog update…it has been awhile after all.

Well folks, life has been real. I had an amazing trip back home and it never gets easier to leave. I get a pit in my stomach and I have a tear in my eye every single time. Home is where my heart is. I’m family orientated and that’s the bottom line. I miss my parents, my brothers, my extended family and of course that little puppy dog of mine. I have friendships that have stood the test of time and people that would genuinely do anything for me. I get emotional even thinking about it.

I feel torn. I have a great life in Georgia. I have an amazing husband, a job that I love and a roof over my head. I just feel like it’s missing something. Joel and I want to start a family, but I want to pursue my career first. I want to put to use all of the education and knowledge that I have worked for over the years. I want to make a difference in the lives of my patients and those around me. I also want to be able to provide an amazing life for my children. I know that we will get there. I have no doubts. I also want my children to know what family is and to have our family watch them grow.

I just miss home….that’s all.

My sister in law’s baby shower went amazingly well and it was so great to see her so happy. My brother is glowing and she is the most radiant pregnant woman that I have ever seen. I am so happy that they are getting everything that they worked so hard for. They make me so proud each and every day.

In other news, something weird happened while I was at home. My father and I were watching the 11 o’clock Windsor news last night and there was a news story about a fire chief that had passed away. As I looked into the eyes of the strong man in the photo I realized that the man was someone that I had met during one of my dad’s chemo sessions. I looked at my dad and my eyes filled instantly with tears. My dad recognized him as well. Sadly, the news story was informing the public of the fire chief’s long battle with cancer and his unfortunate passing. My thoughts were focused on his children that he had talked about so proudly. I recalled how strong he looked in his chemo sessions and his laughter that eased the tension in the room. I face death on a daily basis, but it is a different thing when it hits so close to home. That could have very easily been my father and it is something that I do not take for granted. Life is so short and we never know what battles we will have to face. Hug your fathers and mothers and your loved ones and make sure they know how much you love them.

I think at the end of the day, when we wash our faces and take a good long look in the mirror, we need to be content in the path we have taken in life and feel like we are making some kind of difference in this world. I realize now, more than ever, that hospice is my calling. At this point in my life, I couldn’t imagine doing anything else.

The Power of a Positive Outlook...

Life has been all around craziness. I am in the midst of cleaning my apartment and blogging while the bathroom floor dries. I feel the need to clean the entire place and will hopefully do so by bedtime. I haven't really been in the mood to blog in the last while. This past year has been really crazy. I haven't really talked about why it's been crazy on this public forum because I really wasn't ready, but I think I've come to grips with it.


My dad was diagnosed with cancer last November. It's been an interesting journey thus far. He had the cancerous tumor removed last December and we were hoping that would be the end of it. It wasn't. My dad started aggressive chemotherapy in January and he will continue until the end of July. He is the most amazing man I have ever met. He has never said, "why me?". He has had such a positive outlook throughout the entire process and he smiles and jokes with everyone to ease any tension or worry. The morning he went in to have his major surgery to have his colon resected he saw how nervous I was. He cracked a joke with one of the nurses just to see me smile. I am so proud to have him as my father. Even when things are tough he looks at the bright side of things. On one of my last trips home as we were walking the dog he said to me, "I'm so glad that I'm retired and that I don't have to worry about putting food on the table for you and your brothers. Could you imagine if this would have happened ten years ago?" My dad is such an inspiration to me and he makes me so proud each and every day. He gets up and goes to work (yes, he is only retired from one job) and he does tons of different things to keep him busy. He is half way done with chemo and I hope that he continues in good spirits.

I have so much to be thankful for. Sure there are roadblocks in life, but it all about the way that you deal with them. Even in my late twenties, my father is still teaching me and showing me new ways to look at the hand that we are dealt in life.

Growing up...

I've learned a lot of things since I started at hospice. It's the kind of job that changes your life. It's definitely relaxed me a lot more in that I realize that not everything it going to be perfect. With hospice there isn't one thing that goes as you expect it to go and you really have to learn to go with the flow. It's weird. I look back at where I've come from. If I were to bump into someone from high school they would really not recognize the person that I am. In high school I was loud and obnoxious. I liked to test the limits on everything, especially my parents nerves. I used to do things without thinking of the repercussions, say things without caring about how it made the other person feel and did pretty much anything I wanted. Now, I double think...wait...triple think everything, am overly sensitive to what comes out of my mouth and I really think about each step that I make. I don't know if it's the social worker in me and the education behind me or if I just grew up. I'm assuming it's a little of both. Sometimes I wonder what high school would have been like if I was like this back then. I wonder if I would have hated it as much as I did. I am finally at a point in my life where I can feel happy with the decisions and changes that I have made. When I look around and really take in all that I have accomplished and what was set forth for me in high school (the high school advisor who told me that I wouldn't make it at a community college) I feel very blessed. I feel blessed to have such a loving family, friends, an amazing husband and a career that makes me proud to be me.

Life is Precious...

I've been in a weird mood all week. I have a patient on service that has been with us since way before I started and her husband came on service this week. I didn't think it would bother me, but it's the first person that has hit a chord with me. I don't know if it's because their house reminds me of my oma and opa's. Or, maybe he just reminds me of my opa in general. Regardless, it's the first time I've seen real suffering in someone who is of sound mind and someone with whom I have a real rapport with. I see the fear in his son's eyes and it just hits home. I have no idea what it is like to help a parent or loved one in their last months, weeks, or even days of life, but I do know the fear and uncertainty that comes with a cancer diagnosis and the impact it can have on a family. My heart really goes out to this family. It makes me look at my own family and my own life and see just how precious life is. It makes me sad that I am so far away from my family. I don't want to miss their birthdays, family dinners and smiles.

Give someone you love a big hug and kiss. I know I will when my husband walks through the door tonight.

Short and sweet!

Howdy folks!

I officially suck at keeping up with my blog! I guess I write whenever I'm in the mood. Life has been okay. Not too much to report. Same old, same old. I'm super busy with work. Still with hospice and still loving it. Well, most of the time. I was pretty crotchity today. I went to the gym to work out my frustrations :)

I was going to write a nice update, but I'm sleepy. Will have to wait till another time. Good night!

The Three R's: Relaxation, Recycling and Religion ;)

allo allo. I'm pretty bored and thought why not take this opportunity to write a blog update :) It's super rainy here and it made me not want to head to the gym after work, but get into my comfy cozies and relax!

Life has been...okay. Things just seem a little blah right now. My head is definitely back home and I want to be with my fam. It's super hard being away from them right now. It's also hard being in good ole Warner Robins by myself. I've done a pretty good job of it up until now, but I just really miss being around my friends, family and Joel. It definitely brings the word "independent" to a whole new level. I guess I've always been independent. I mean I've travelled overseas half a dozen times by myself and went to school in Israel by myself, but this is very new territory. Working, living and doing pretty much everything by myself is showing me a different side of 'Erin'. I guess it is showing me what I'm capable of doing. I do like that Joel and I can both focus on our work.

It's definitely an experience living in Warner Robins, GA. It's just so different from home. There are a couple of main differences that I've noticed thus far. Obviously the accents. I love the southern accents. There is one nurse that I work with that I could listen to for hours. Another huge difference is the attitude towards recycling. In Canada it seems like it's a given. There are recycling bins everywhere and everyone takes an active role in protecting their environment. I have not seen one recycling bin since I've moved to Warner Robins. At work, we don't even recycle paper. I mean think of how much paper one office goes through!!! I also see a lot of styrofoam down here for single use cups. It makes me cringe. Another difference is religion. Not just that I'm the token Jew in the office, but the fact that my office prays during our morning conference call. It's very hard to get used to, but very interesting at the same time. I'm definitely in the Bible Belt! :) Another difference, the yoga instructors read off of notes in their classes. It's hard to concentrate when you can hear the rustling of papers as the instructor is trying to read her next move!!! This has happened with two instructors now, but I should mention that it has only happened in WR and not in Athens.

Well, there are definitely more, but I'm going to save them for another day. I'm off to snuggle with a book. Later!

2011...eh?

I have no idea how it is 2011 already, but it is! This past year flew by so fast. I can't believe that I'm married and living in Georgia. Things have been great and there really hasn't been too much to report. It's great that I get to see Joel on weekends, but I really wish that we lived together. I wish that things could be kinda, sorta normal. I know that when it comes to Joel and I that ideal of normalcy doesn't really exist and sometimes I wish it did.

I love my job. I have great coworkers that make me love going into the office and I have amazing patients. I found something that I truly love to do. I never thought that I would end up working at a hospice. It turns out to be one of the best choices I could have ever made. It's hard work--don't get me wrong, but it is definitely worth it. Today was one of those hard days. I went back to work after a week of being off and six of my patients had passed away. I'm sad that I wasn't able to attend their funerals and say my farewells.

During my time off I went home. I actually went twice in December, but the first time I kept on the down low because I just wanted to spend time with my family. Joel came with me the second time and we had the relaxation and family time that we desperately needed. I miss being around my family. It is definitely the hardest part about being away. Especially that puppy dog of mine.

I think I'm going to call it a night. Hope all is well with y'all!